Saturday 8 March 2014

Chokers

If you have ever had the misfortune to have a Kiwi work colleague then you will probably knowingly nod at what I am going to say, yes they have a fantastic rugby team, but to live your life (no matter how inadequate it may be) vicariously through them is annoying for every non Kiwi in their vicinity.  Until 2011 we used to have a quick and easy slap down – chokers.  As soon as the word was uttered, they shut up – sloped off muttering under their breath and you would get a bit of peace for a few hours.  Soon they would be telling you the Taranaki Girls u9s would win the Celtic League, but until that happened they were wonderfully mute.

As a Scotland rugby fan, choking was something you did when you saw the price of a steak baguette at Murrayfield – but our rugby team nah.  Then the RWC 2011 rolled around and we choked twice in a week and were out of the competition for the first time ever before the QF stage.

March the 8th 2014 – Scotland versus the worse French side in years – even with the Fat Bluffer in charge – surely we should be winning this?  Many Scottish sporting fans will easily trot out the line about us snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and by gawd we did it today.

The mental fortitude of a year old Yorkshire Terrier with an abusive owner – I would rather have had 8 of them in our pack on the 76th minute today.  We are in control, picking and going with the French looking clueless – Swinson supports Wilson as he goes and executes one of the most pathetic attempts at bridging the ball I have seen and bear in mind I coached mini rugby for 5 years.  Wilson is on his own – Swinson is flapping about gazing at the grass – a Frenchman nips in and Wilson is pinged.  The French kick for touch, somehow manage to win a lineout and we are on the back foot in our 22.

Gray puts in another tackle - enter Swinson – the second player into a tackle is entitled to go for the ball, but the awful ref (who probably gloats about his All Blacks at work breaktimes) has pinged this for the whole bloody match and nabs Swinson.  How much of a fricking moron do you have to be to commit this penalty – the fact he shouldn’t be on the bench is a given but he was fricking awful and lost us the game.

However, his moronic stupidity should not have put us in a position to worry about a muppet cocking up the game – the French were never in the game but we never had the mental fortitude to sort it out.  We were pathetic and didn’t have the balls to finish them off.

Around the 65th min there was this utterly dull 5mins as the second half just confirmed how awful it was – scrum after shitty scrum, Geoff Cross who had been pinged twice in the scrum was ready to give another away as he struggled – meanwhile on our bench, we had Euan Murray.

Let’s leave him there was the FB’s plan – does anyone know of a way to deport this clown?

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